Conficker Claims its First Human

Mr Hermulen, fearing a computerised Armageddon would occur on April 1st due to Conficker, barricaded himself in his log cabin outside the small town of Pofadder in South Africa last week. After missing the town's weekly "sokkie", a type of traditional Afrikaans dance, town members went to visit Harry. One witness described what they found as "horrifying". "We knocked on the door, but Harry didn't answer, a jean-pant were drying outside, but Harry only had one pair, so we knew he was inside." said Maggie van Schoonstad. "We opened the door and found yellow, red and blue devil's signs on all the walls," continued Maggie These were later confirmed as the logos of well known Anti-Virus vendors. "We found him dead in front of his computer, his face was all blue from the screen."

Later analysis confirmed Mr Hermulen had starved to death. Computer experts determined that while waiting for his Vista computer to boot, then clicking through the thousands of 'Allow' dialogs presented to  him by the multiple Anti-Virus products installed, Mr Hermulen had not had time to eat. "His finger was full of blood and stuck to his mouse." said Frikkie Steyn a close hunting friend of Harry.

When asked for comment, Norton Symanteck, a spokesperson for Fckng-Secure Anti-Virus said, "What happened to Mr. Hermulen is a tragedy, BUT YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE UNLESS YOU BUY ANTI-VIRUS." Oh the humanity.

Happy April First.